Alone vs Lonely

I wasn’t really planning on writing a blog post. I was happily ignoring almost all forms of communication when I suddenly realized that there’s nothing I’d rather do right now than to talk to someone.

I had not been very interested in internet communities and never really had the time for them until I moved to France. I understood that to stay sane I had to be able to get some type of breathing space. I had to find somewhere I could talk to people without having to struggle with insufficient vocabulary and lack of knowledge of grammar. Since I lacked a natural gateway to meet new (English or Swedish speaking) people in real life, I joined a few social network sites.

I wonder if it’s when you have no one to talk to, that’s when you need it the most and when you’ve gotten the habit of keeping to yourself it can be very difficult to share. Just a thought.

Much too often I hear people saying that they don’t like being alone. I know what they mean but I can help thinking that the definition of the word “alone” should be changed somehow. I know many people don’t agree with me. But since I’m the one writing here I will take my chance and throw my opinion out in the open anyway.

Being alone is a marvelous thing. No disturbing sounds and noises, you can listen to whatever music you want or just have it quiet, you can dance around in your home unseen (as long as you pull the curtains shut so you won’t put up a show for the neighbors) if that’s what you feel like.

I work (and function in general) best on my own, undisturbed. I have the ability to concentrate fully on the task at hand and switch to doing something else if inspiration pulls me in a different direction. I love the freedom it gives me to not have to adapt too much to those around me.

Loneliness for me is a different thing, it’s a state of mind and the times I feel most lonely are the times I’m being ignored when looking for contact or when I’m in a place with people that I feel that I have nothing in common with.

Sometimes the loneliness penetrates my alone time and I start brooding and worrying. I guess it happens to us all from time to time but it’s never an enjoyable experience. That’s when I should try to seek refuge with my online friends, but for some reason I stop myself, thinking they have enough worries in their lives and I need not add another. I have been trying to break this, but old habits die hard.

However, I am determined that alone physically is not the same thing as being lonely.

And to those who feel lonely I just want to give you a hug and say: You are not alone

The sounds of silence

I’ve been thinking a lot about sounds today. Those little sounds we have around us that we sometimes forget to notice and those sounds that we can’t help to notice no matter how much we try not to. You know what sounds I am talking about... The tap in the kitchen sink that just won’t stop dripping or that alarm clock on the night stand that seems to hit your head with every tick as you, in vain, try to fall asleep. But I don’t care much to talk about things like that now. I’d rather share a few of my favourite sounds.

My ten favourite (non-musical) sounds:
- The friction induced sound of crystal. (As long as it’s unintentional)
- Popping bubble wrap... But only if it’s me popping it.
- The sound a lift makes just before it stops. (Elevator, for those who don’t speak British English)
- When the vacuum seal breaks for my fine-grind coffee.
- The clicking noise from when someone is knitting.
- The turning of a page while reading a good book.
- Light rainfall on a window or tent canvas.
- Thunder. Slightly frightening, but oh so beautiful.
- Purring cats.
- Heartbeats, preferably listened to ear-on-chest. As close as possible to the source.

I love so many other sounds too, instruments and voices, rustling leaves in the wind, streaming wild water, the heavy “breathing” of my coffee machine, when someone is reversing up the driveway...

I don’t want to make any grand points, I would just like you to stop and listen for a moment to a buzzing bee or a laughing child and enjoy the rest of your day.
Thanks for stopping by.

Beautiful reader

Considering the fact that I haven’t written many posts and have been terrible at updating lately I was surprised, touched and incredibly honoured to find out that one of my dear friends on Plurk had given me an award. Thank you Cowboy for the award, your wonderful writing but most of all for your friendship.

As a part of my acceptance post I was supposed to include a list of seven unknown things about myself. Since I had some difficulty figuring out what to put in this list, I begged my Plurk friends to help me out and ask things they would like to know. Here’s the final result in Q&A format.

1
Q - When will you finally finish your book? (Angst)
A - I will finish my book when it’s done, and not a day before that. I’ve only been writing it for 5 months, so I think I’m allowed to take my time, even more so since it’s the first full-length novel I’ve ever written.

2
Q - If I gave you a ticket to anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? (Tamsie)
A - Right now I’d go to the Maldives and see a friend of mine, relax and help him set up his recording studio.

3
Q - Do you regret any choices you've made? (Dooneybird)
A - I try not to regret any choices I’ve made in my life. I try (try!) to spend that energy on making the best out of a crappy situation instead.

4
Q - About what subject are you a snob? Music? Yarn? Furniture? Other? (Tamsie)
A - I’m a terrible lip-balm snob. I only use one brand that is developed by the Swedish National Defence. I have one at my desk, one in my bag and one next to the bed at all times - always ready and never without it. Apart from that I think I’m very flexible in my likings.

5
Q - Who influenced you to go into music as a profession? (Bronsont)
A - I’m not sure I can say that someone specific has influenced me in that decision. I remember when I was eleven (or was it twelve?) and I found my brother’s leaflet about career choices he had gotten from his school. In it I read that you could actually study music more than just take lessons in different instruments. The thought of being a “real” musician had never really dawned on me before that and I made up my mind on the spot.

6
Q - What's your favorite type of food? (Angst)
A - My favorite food is usually something I don’t have to cook myself since I like getting spoiled. (But taste wise it’s the other way around.) My favorite thing to do if I have a lot of time is Swedish meatballs. Not the type you get at ikea, but the ones I make myself.

7
Q - Do you eat Jelly babies head first or feet first? (Cowboy)
A - I always eat jelly babies head first. I think it’s the only humane thing to do.



I'm bad at following blogs but I try my best to stay updated with the following people:

Emma - Wonderful RL friend for many years, writes in Swedish about this and that in her everyday life.

Astrid - Writer and my brightest ray of sunshine.

Cowboy - Poetic ponderings, smiles and always an enjoyable read.

Cat a.k.a Catswire - My favorite jewelry designer with a wonderful sense of humor.

BubbleBoo - The lovely and strong. Don't forget to check out her wonderful writing at the Writer's Bubble too.

Lifecruiser - Warning: You may feel like traveling after reading!

Linda - Dive in and enjoy her diving adventures and other ramblings.

Northernlight - I just started following her and I think you should too.

David - The ministry of cats is full of goodies I have not been a follower for very long but I am looking forward to more.

Pam - Fantastic writer, I wish she wrote more but I know that sometimes life is keeping us too busy to type.

I apologize for the lack of in-depth descriptions of the blogs but they are all written by wonderful people and I highly recommend them. All above are written in English unless otherwise noted.

Thanks for making it to the end of the post. More fun will come soon.